TBT- My kids are missing out on some sweet cars

When we were on vacation this summer I happened to see a brown Pinto (I can't believe someone still owns one of those).  I laughed and pointed it out to my husband and kids and told them we had one of those growing up.  My husband laughed and said you guys had all of the horrible cars growing up.... my parents had a knack for picking them.   My kids are missing out on some traumatic sweet experiences we had as kids with the cars my parents owned, such as:

• Piling 6 kids into a brown, hatchback Pinto that really only had 2 rear seats with a hump in the middle- Remember it was the 70s, before seatbelt laws. 

•  Having the horn honk on our orange VW bus every time it turned  left   -OR-
•  Having to run out and start said VW bus because it has, yet again, stalled on a very busy street.  How did we restart it, picture this- sitting at the busiest intersection at a red light.  Light turns green and the orange VW bus in front of you isn't moving.  Next thing you see is a child, between 6 to 14 years of age opening the sliding side door, jumping out of the car (with cars in other lanes moving...) child runs to the back of the car, opens the hatch and sticks their little hand inside where the engine is... Child runs back into the car and off goes the orange VW -while you can't figure out what just happened...  that was us on many occasions.  

•   My kids won't know the joy of having a car with wood paneling.  I'm not going to lie, I was in elementary school when my parents got this car and I truly loved it! I'm sure my siblings in high school weren't thrilled about the wood paneling or the baby blue... 

• They won't know the joy of sitting in the very back of the car, sitting in seats facing the cars behind you and flashing naked Barbies at them. 
• Having a canary yellow VW Rabbit- those diesels last forever and yes my dad must have had a thing for canary yellow. 

•  Being 16 and driving this hooptie.  Funny thing this car ended up getting stolen and was stripped of it's parts.  I remember we were in Canada with my mom when my dad called and told us what had happened.   Bless those thieves, I was so happy it was gone. 

• The joy of being able to sit in a rental car... oh I remember the Lincoln my parents rented to drive to a family reunion- which I'm pretty sure we didn't all fit with seat belts but it had a plush interior so no one was complaining- sweet stuff.

I'm not trying to knock on my parents, they did what they had to, I mean they had 6 kids and it was the 70s/ 80s.  I actually love that I have these stories to look back on and laugh at.  Just glad we all survived with no car seats, seat belts and running in traffic to start our VW bus.   

Interesting thing, my first car I bought was a black Honda Del Sol, two door, T-top, sporty car- totally impractical, but super cute and fun to drive....hummm I wonder what the psychology behind that is : ) 

Sarah's birthday.... it's just hard

Today is a bitter sweet day for me.  Sweet because it is the day, 8 years ago, that I met our youngest daughter Sarah Rose.  We feel it is a privilege to have her as part of our family.  We have come a long way and every year my heart hurts because she isn't here today to celebrate her life and this day is a reminder of all that we have missed with her.  We have tried to gain as much as we can from what has happened.  Since it has happened and we can't change it we pray we can make the most of it (I think that helps us not focus on how much we've missed).



Grief feels different at different times, her birthday is a trigger for it.  This summer I was in the Pacific Ocean, which off of Northern California can be pretty chilly.  I went in the water up to my shoulders, it was so cold that it took my breath away.  I hopped over 1-2 waves then realized I couldn't take the cold.  I was having a hard time taking a deep breath and the cold felt like it was squishing my chest- it actually felt like it could be dangerous so I got out.

 I feel that way with grief.  It will literally take my breath away- I need to address it -ride the wave- and let it be (aka cry) and then I can get out of the depths of it.  Yes I still felt cold after I got out of the ocean but I was able to warm up from the sun and a towel.  I still feel the grief of losing Sarah but I can feel warmth from it.  The warmth is the HOPE that I have that I will see her sweet little face again.  Happy Birthday sweet, chubs!