TBT- My kids are missing out on some sweet cars

When we were on vacation this summer I happened to see a brown Pinto (I can't believe someone still owns one of those).  I laughed and pointed it out to my husband and kids and told them we had one of those growing up.  My husband laughed and said you guys had all of the horrible cars growing up.... my parents had a knack for picking them.   My kids are missing out on some traumatic sweet experiences we had as kids with the cars my parents owned, such as:

• Piling 6 kids into a brown, hatchback Pinto that really only had 2 rear seats with a hump in the middle- Remember it was the 70s, before seatbelt laws. 

•  Having the horn honk on our orange VW bus every time it turned  left   -OR-
•  Having to run out and start said VW bus because it has, yet again, stalled on a very busy street.  How did we restart it, picture this- sitting at the busiest intersection at a red light.  Light turns green and the orange VW bus in front of you isn't moving.  Next thing you see is a child, between 6 to 14 years of age opening the sliding side door, jumping out of the car (with cars in other lanes moving...) child runs to the back of the car, opens the hatch and sticks their little hand inside where the engine is... Child runs back into the car and off goes the orange VW -while you can't figure out what just happened...  that was us on many occasions.  

•   My kids won't know the joy of having a car with wood paneling.  I'm not going to lie, I was in elementary school when my parents got this car and I truly loved it! I'm sure my siblings in high school weren't thrilled about the wood paneling or the baby blue... 

• They won't know the joy of sitting in the very back of the car, sitting in seats facing the cars behind you and flashing naked Barbies at them. 
• Having a canary yellow VW Rabbit- those diesels last forever and yes my dad must have had a thing for canary yellow. 

•  Being 16 and driving this hooptie.  Funny thing this car ended up getting stolen and was stripped of it's parts.  I remember we were in Canada with my mom when my dad called and told us what had happened.   Bless those thieves, I was so happy it was gone. 

• The joy of being able to sit in a rental car... oh I remember the Lincoln my parents rented to drive to a family reunion- which I'm pretty sure we didn't all fit with seat belts but it had a plush interior so no one was complaining- sweet stuff.

I'm not trying to knock on my parents, they did what they had to, I mean they had 6 kids and it was the 70s/ 80s.  I actually love that I have these stories to look back on and laugh at.  Just glad we all survived with no car seats, seat belts and running in traffic to start our VW bus.   

Interesting thing, my first car I bought was a black Honda Del Sol, two door, T-top, sporty car- totally impractical, but super cute and fun to drive....hummm I wonder what the psychology behind that is : ) 

Sarah's birthday.... it's just hard

Today is a bitter sweet day for me.  Sweet because it is the day, 8 years ago, that I met our youngest daughter Sarah Rose.  We feel it is a privilege to have her as part of our family.  We have come a long way and every year my heart hurts because she isn't here today to celebrate her life and this day is a reminder of all that we have missed with her.  We have tried to gain as much as we can from what has happened.  Since it has happened and we can't change it we pray we can make the most of it (I think that helps us not focus on how much we've missed).



Grief feels different at different times, her birthday is a trigger for it.  This summer I was in the Pacific Ocean, which off of Northern California can be pretty chilly.  I went in the water up to my shoulders, it was so cold that it took my breath away.  I hopped over 1-2 waves then realized I couldn't take the cold.  I was having a hard time taking a deep breath and the cold felt like it was squishing my chest- it actually felt like it could be dangerous so I got out.

 I feel that way with grief.  It will literally take my breath away- I need to address it -ride the wave- and let it be (aka cry) and then I can get out of the depths of it.  Yes I still felt cold after I got out of the ocean but I was able to warm up from the sun and a towel.  I still feel the grief of losing Sarah but I can feel warmth from it.  The warmth is the HOPE that I have that I will see her sweet little face again.  Happy Birthday sweet, chubs!

My BBC Obsession

I have been so busy lately.. you know vacation is just so tiring- hehe.  It's actually the recovery from vacation that is tiring.  Every time I think of blogging I start, but never finish a post. Recently I found a blog post with awesome suggestions on  Dramas to watch on Netflix - click here to see that list.

 I am always looking for good shows to watch and realized all the shows I've been watching recently seem to be from the BBC .   I thought I'd share a few of these with you, who doesn't like a good BBC detective show.

My commentary on these in general is I like that most of the actors aren't perfect looking, they look like normal everyday people.  It does drive me a little nuts because in all of the detective shows none of them have guns, yet they are in situations where they clearly need them... makes me a little anxious.  I wonder how they can do it in real life without guns.... 

So here is a list of the top 5 detective BBC shows plus a BBC sitcom I have recently watched:


Luther- 3 Seasons on Netflix
A dedicated urban detective dealing with criminals as well as his home life.  I really liked this show, intense and it doesn't hurt that John Luther is a hottie.  More about it here

Broadchurch 1 Season on Netflix
Detectives trying to solve a murder in a small town.  A lot of different suspects.  I believe this was made into a US version but only has one season.  The British version has 2 seasons (and a 3rd coming out) but currently only 1 available on Netflix.  You can buy season 2 on Amazon.  I love this show- great character development as different things unwind in the small town.

Vexed- 2 Seasons on Netflix
Two detectives working together but totally different personalities- he is a slacker and obnoxious, she is driven and professional.  Funny and a bit irreverent- I liked season 1 but didn't get into season 2

White Chapel- Amazon
I am sad that Amazon isn't offering this to Prime members anymore (you can buy the seasons on Amazon), a really good series about a group of detectives solving different murders, season 1 is about a Jack the Ripper copy cat killer.

Happy Valley 1 Season on Netflix (working on season 2-thankfully!)
About a woman who is a police sergeant pursuing the man who assaulted her late daughter.    This is intense, has some language, but good.  

Delivery Man 1 Season on Netflix
This is not a detective show, sitcom, but fits into my current BBC obsession.  About a male police officer turned midwife... funny with great dialogue and characters.  I hope they make more seasons, I really liked the humor.

I just put the following BBC shows on my watch list:
A Young Doctor's Notebook
Wallander
An Honorable Woman
Hinterland
Bletchley Circle
The Monarch of the Glen

I might have a British accent by the end of summer : )  What are some of your favorites??
 Enjoy and happy watching!!

My Boyfriend's Back!

Yep you heard me right, my boyfriend is back!  Jay and I took a 3 day vacation away from the kids (thanks to our awesome friends who helped us out).  He had a speaking opportunity in Orlando at a nice hotel, so I tagged along and we made a weekend of it.  A weekend of sun, fun, relaxing, ice-cream, chocolate croissants, flirting and I got to see Jay in action for work.  

Jay speaking at a conference- I was impressed!  

Lately with his travel schedule we do what we can to throw in some good conversation over the phone or within the 2 days he is home.   Timing has been tricky and hard to get any type of conversation let alone a good one.  I feel like an FBI agent with my strategic conversations with him.  I know it will be short so I give him the latest on the kids, dog, home, work and try to slip in something about me (I don't know why FBI, but I've always wanted that title so...). These 3 days I didn't feel rushed and didn't have to check my list of things to talk with him about.

I highly recommend doing what you can to get away with your spouse.  It makes such a difference.  We were able to talk-without having to be strategic with our wording or using code words (listening 12 year old ears are extra sharp these days), we were able to talk about more than our kids and home stuff, we got to do a lot of other things without having to worry about kids.  I felt like his girlfriend!

It was just the refresh we needed.  For all of you with little kids I know it seems like this time will never come....it does, try to at least do date nights in the meantime (although over night is better : )

Sleepless In Seattle

Last weekend we did a quick trip to Seattle- I say sleepless because we managed to stay on Central time in the mornings (awake by 6 a.m.)  and  Pacific time in the evenings (going to bed at 11 p.m.)... kind of nice because it made the days seem longer, although we might have been a little crabby by the end.  Initially we went to participate in the RockNRoll Half Marathon!  Turns out my back isn't quite ready for me to run 13.1 miles, so I went and cheered Jay, Heidi (my sister) and Jason (brother-in-law) on.  They were rock stars, I was seriously impressed!

It was fun filled weekend of:  

RockNRoll Half Marathon

(btw the National Anthem was played on an electric guitar-very cool)

Team EBRP!

Heidi (love her wings!)  and Jason crossing the finish line!  

Jay had an amazing time of 1 hour 48 minutes especially for his first half!  I think he's addicted. 

EMP (Experience Music Project) Museum
My sister and I took the kids to the EMP museum there in Seattle Center- WOW, very cool museum.  I would highly recommend it.  They have a whole music section which we could have spent all day in (and for those of you who know me, know I am not musical- although secretly wish I was)  I managed to embarrass my children (yes!) at a karaoke part of the museum.  They didn't give me a microphone, so what's a girl got to do... show off her dance moves- a little running man, cabbage patch, sprinkler!  I didn't run the half so I needed the cardio workout : )

Sunday Brunch
Sunday we went to a brunch with Team EBRP- it was really nice getting to know the families and sharing stories.

Good-byes
After that we said good-bye to my sister and her family, they had to drive back to Idaho (aren't they the best for driving 7 hours to spend this time with us??).  Cousin time is always awesome and of course so is sister time!

Peas in a pod!  Cute girls!

Justus is his favorite!

Love these two boys!

Pike's Place and Ferry
Our family decided to go to Pike's Place Market on Sunday and do a ferry boat ride.  I love farmer's markets and oh I love the fruit out here on the west coast.  We bought a nectarine that was so juicy I had juice running down my forearm as I ate it and I didn't care (the fruit in the Midwest isn't juicy and doesn't have that fresh flavor).

The ferry was really cool because not only did we get some awesome views we also learned some interesting facts about Seattle.

Visiting Friends
Monday morning we took Jay to the airport- he was off to Boston for work and since our plane didn't leave until that evening we went to visit one of my roommates/friends from college, Heather.  It was so much fun.  We talked nonstop for 6 hours and I enjoyed every minute of it.  I haven't seen her in over 20 years, and it seemed like yesterday.  She took us to a cute little Norwegian town and we got some very tasty pastries...I won't say how many I bought, but let's just say I got whatever looked good...  I did share of course! It was a great time catching up with Heather and seeing what an amazing person she continues to be

I have to give a plug for military families.  Heather's husband is in the military and it is amazing the things that her husband does for our country, not just him but the sacrifices his family makes as well.  I have a deeper appreciation for that and the sacrifices they all make to keep our country safe! !

We made it home safely and without any tired cries... (I might have almost cried when for about 3 minutes I couldn't find our car in the parking garage in the MN airport).  We  had a great time in Seattle, I love that city- so cool and has a lot of fun things to do.  We will be back, maybe next year I can run the half!    

Throwing it back... house growing up!

This is the only picture I have of our house growing up.  A four bedroom, two bath home on Harwood Road in San Jose California.  Can you imagine 8 people lived in this house for over 20 years, plus the foreign exchange students, the foster kids my parents took in and the babysitting kids my mom watched for years... oh my gosh!  (I sometimes wonder if they were certifiable)   The memories this house holds for the Sabin clan...

• Laughs.
• Sunday dinner with the nice green China.
• Listening to a book on record while sitting on the plaid,scratchy couch.
• Arguments.
• Fighting over cleaning our rooms. 
• Maxi and mini jobs.
• Many pets (dogs, rabbits, fish, turtle). 
• Teasing.
• Friends, relatives coming and going .
• Sock bin (I add this because we had a huge hamper full of socks that were missing their pair).
• The Sunday we got robbed while at church.
• Roller skating down the hill by our house.
• Playing pickle in the backyard.

So much more and probably fairly similar to most homes.

The physical aspects of the house (remember it was built in the 70s)-

• Orange carpet,  (as in burnt orange).
• Avocado green refrigerator 
• Garage that we never once parked cars in (too jammed pack full of stuff) 
• Fruit trees lining our backyard fence (apricot and cherry trees that were fabulous- I still get flash backs when I  eat a juicy apricot) 
• The loose fence board that we could open and sneak into the condo complex behind our house.
• A shed that always smelt moldy and like old camping gear 
• Orange tree and avocado tree that we never ate the fruit of (oranges too sour and the avocados were always rock hard)
• Piano with keys that were written on
• Telephone with the extra long cord (our dad use to yell at us if we let it knot up too bad)
• Our brick fire place with a hearth-aka stage

 Much more but I save the best for last...drum roll please.
A garage door that was painted canary yellow.  Yes I said it, canary yellow and yes ONLY the garage door. Picture our lovely tan and dark brown home, with a ... canary yellow garage door.

I am a visual person and I altered this picture so you could get a feel for the canary yellow

How did this happen?  Well a color blind man picked out the paint and didn't see a need to change it once the mistake was pointed out to him.  My poor mom, although she didn't rush out and have it repainted.  It stayed that way until my sister who was in High School bought the correct color with her own money and painted the garage door herself.  I was only in elementary school, but it did get old having people ask why we had a bright yellow garage door.   

Weird though I have a slight obsession with the color yellow- I love it and have accents of it all throughout my house- wonder if this had anything to do with it...   

Self Compassion

I hope I am not being too mushy in my posts, but I wanted to share something I just read because I can't stop thinking about it.   A few days ago I was doing some research for work- reading some articles about habits and how to break them.  There was an article about how we fall back on old habits so easily.  Part of it is physical because we make neurological pathways within our brain and those  habits over time carve a pathway.   Our brain likes simplicity and our brain likes what it knows so it follows those already made paths.    


The article was interesting enough, if you want to read it here it is.  But the last thing the author of the article said regarding habits was, The best path forward is self-compassion.  For some reason this was bold in my mind.  

I said the words, self-compassion over and over and I haven't stopped thinking of that.  I grew up being taught to love and serve others.  I try to teach my children that.  It is an important concept to get outside our own self and see the needs of others.   But how much do we hear or learn about loving ourselves.  What does that even mean?  I think it can mean different things for different people.  For me I have to work on the negative self talk  I have when I screw up,  have too much time on my hands or feel overwhelmed...well really anytime, I need to work on it.    It hit me this morning when my son was grumbling to himself because he put honey on his toast before he put the butter on (oh the tragedy).  I heard him grumble the words, "you're so stupid" talking to himself.  We had a conversation about that, and I threw in there the need for him to be kind to himself.  It is so easy to beat ourselves up.  I do it all the time because I know all my faults, mistakes etc.. but I also don't give myself enough credit and I can bet you don't either.  

We need to create neurological pathways in our brain so that self-compassion is a habit and a simple path the brain will want to take.  How do we do that, repetition.   So I challenge you for the next few days, weeks, months, and years- figure out a healthy way to treat yourself with self-compassion (if you need to throw chocolate in the mix, I get it) .  When your faults seem totally blatant and you are having a bad day remember self-compassion!  

Time To Fly- TEAM CHUBS

Every year that we have lived in Minnesota we have participated in the Time to Fly run/walk put on by the Children's Cancer Research Fund.  We started out with Team PUCK (after the non profit we established in 2009).  Below is the story of how we have evolved to where we are at today for Team CHUBS!  

A quick back story behind PUCK: After Sarah died (read her story here), we moved to Minnesota to set up Pioneering Unique Cures for Kids (PUCK) with help from  The Children's Cancer Research Funds(CCRF)  - (a successful, established nonprofit).  It was our way of helping and our way of keeping hope for a treatment for the disease Sarah had  (Epidermolysis Bullosa).   I set up PUCK and worked for 2.5 years trying to spread awareness and raise money for EB.  After 2.5 years I needed some distance from it to help in my grieving process.  This worked out because another set of awesome parents were in a position to take it on.  Once they needed to move on the decision was made to dissolve PUCK and put our efforts with an existing EB nonprofit that was now supporting the University of MN.  The cool thing is that before PUCK a lot of the EB charities didn't support the U of MN- they hesitated because it was something new and different.  PUCK, with the help of CCRF kept the funding coming so the other nonprofits could see the advancements made.   PUCK served it's purpose but like I said has now been dissolved.   We support and rely on another nonprofit EB Research Partnership  who is dedicated and has some fabulous resources.  PUCK not only raised awareness but also raised hundreds of thousands of dollars to help support the doctors at the U of MN and the amazing advancements they have made for the treatment of EB- all because of support and love from people like you.  

  

In the past our participation in the run/walk  has been for Team PUCK- all the kids who suffer from EB.  This year since PUCK no longer exists we are going to be at Time to Fly but under a new name.  I wanted to change the name to Team Chubs (Sarah's nickname because of her chubby cheeks).  The funds raised by Team Chubs will still go to EB research, (CCRF has committed to ear marking donations for the U of MN and EB research)

This year Time to Fly is going to be about Sarah.  I am in the  grief stage of acceptance (at least today I am : ) .  Sarah has died and I will run to honor her life, memory and I want my friends to run for her too.  In the past I haven't felt ready to be so bold about her death and life, but for some reason I feel like the timing works and it's something I want to do for her.  

Click on Time to Fly  to join Team Chubs or to donate.  Thank you for your continued support on this journey of ours.  

*Below are a few videos about PUCK, but I post them so you can see Sarah and get to know her a little.  

Throw it back....

Throw back Thursday!  I am going to try this, hopefully I am somewhat consistent (as in monthly).  I was thinking it would be fun to recap some of my childhood memories (I might just throw in some stuff from when my kids were itty bitty too).  It is very self serving but I thought it would be good to have these memories written down somewhere and why not entertain the masses (as in all 3 of you) while I am at it.

I'll start with this picture I just shared on Facebook this last week (because my kids told me I look like Will Ferrell from Elf...)

This is me in second grade.  My mom would take us to some lady from our church to get our perms, it was that or the taped hair and scissors hair cut.... clearly a perm was the way to go.  Plus Annie the movie was just released and I was going to look just like her, sans the red hair.  My sister Lisa (a red head) was also getting a perm at the same time....how lucky was she, red hair + perm = Annie look alike!  Although she wasn't in second grade, she was in 6th grade and WASN'T going for that look.   Results:  me sitting model style laying across our couch to show off my hair and my sister, madly combing out her hair over and over after washing it a bunch of times.  To this day I don't understand why she didn't want to look like Annie : )  I don't have any pictures of Lisa with her hair...my guess they were never taken or all destroyed.

I was so proud and nervous to go to school the next day- afraid the kids would make fun of my hair that I LOVED.  I remember having a response in my back pocket if anyone said anything to me about it-  like if Steve York said anything I'd remind him his mom had curly hair too ...BABAM, take that!  That was all I had....   I actually don't remember if anyone said anything, I guess if they did it didn't bother me enough to make it a memory... or it traumatized me so I have blocked it out...either way I LOVED my perm!

Spring! yay......booo

There are so many fabulous things to love about Spring.  I love the colors.  Here in Minnesota we have a long winter of whites and browns and not much else (excepet the Christmas lights that can't be taken down until spring because they are frozen to the house/trees etc).   It is great to see the grass so green and vibrant, the flowers that have been hibernating start to poke their way up through the ground into some lovely tulips and daffodils.  I love it!

Pictures from our neighbor- see how beautiful!

 I love that it is WARM (it's all relative, so we are happy to take anything above 30), especially on those days where you can feel the warmth from the sun and there isn't any wind!  Imagine that!  I love hearing all the birds sing and rushing around building their nests.  Last year we had a robin's nest in the tree right outside Janie's bedroom window, with blue robin eggs in them!  We also have a few bald eagles that come and make their summer home somewhere in our neighborhood, so it's really cool to see these giants flying around.

Bald Eagle- this is literally right behind our house, so cool!

I love to see all the kids emerging from their homes and playing outside until it is dark.  Willis is loving it, he goes crazy now that everything has thawed out and he can smell life!

Love all the chalk activity going on... oh and Willis is just like my kids, as soon as he sees the camera he looks away!

 Spring is magical, a renewing of life.........

AND a renewing of allergies that have lay dormant during the frozen tundra days.  Everyone in my family has seasonal allergies, but it effects my son the most.  The poor kid is on on 3 medicines, eye drops, saline spray yet his allergies are still just bad.  We have tried different remedies, local honey, daily showers, cleaning out the nose, even a "salt room" membership.

Our storage of Kleenex which should last about a month..

Aaron's allergy regime

I hate to even go there, but I think allergy shots could be in his future.  Still despite my itchy, watery eyes I love the feeling of SPRING and (almost) all it brings.  In the meantime I'll just walk around like this for the next few weeks until they calm down.

Happy Birthday Janie

How can it really be 12 years since we had this Janie.  I really can't believe it.  I remember when those toddler years seemed like they would never end (and now I seriously do miss them...).  
Janie has always been such a good girl.  She is sweet and sassy and keeps me on my toes.  She keeps me learning how to be a better person/ parent all the time.  I love her to death and I'm so grateful for the girl who made me a mom 12 years ago!