Self Compassion

I hope I am not being too mushy in my posts, but I wanted to share something I just read because I can't stop thinking about it.   A few days ago I was doing some research for work- reading some articles about habits and how to break them.  There was an article about how we fall back on old habits so easily.  Part of it is physical because we make neurological pathways within our brain and those  habits over time carve a pathway.   Our brain likes simplicity and our brain likes what it knows so it follows those already made paths.    


The article was interesting enough, if you want to read it here it is.  But the last thing the author of the article said regarding habits was, The best path forward is self-compassion.  For some reason this was bold in my mind.  

I said the words, self-compassion over and over and I haven't stopped thinking of that.  I grew up being taught to love and serve others.  I try to teach my children that.  It is an important concept to get outside our own self and see the needs of others.   But how much do we hear or learn about loving ourselves.  What does that even mean?  I think it can mean different things for different people.  For me I have to work on the negative self talk  I have when I screw up,  have too much time on my hands or feel overwhelmed...well really anytime, I need to work on it.    It hit me this morning when my son was grumbling to himself because he put honey on his toast before he put the butter on (oh the tragedy).  I heard him grumble the words, "you're so stupid" talking to himself.  We had a conversation about that, and I threw in there the need for him to be kind to himself.  It is so easy to beat ourselves up.  I do it all the time because I know all my faults, mistakes etc.. but I also don't give myself enough credit and I can bet you don't either.  

We need to create neurological pathways in our brain so that self-compassion is a habit and a simple path the brain will want to take.  How do we do that, repetition.   So I challenge you for the next few days, weeks, months, and years- figure out a healthy way to treat yourself with self-compassion (if you need to throw chocolate in the mix, I get it) .  When your faults seem totally blatant and you are having a bad day remember self-compassion!  

Time To Fly- TEAM CHUBS

Every year that we have lived in Minnesota we have participated in the Time to Fly run/walk put on by the Children's Cancer Research Fund.  We started out with Team PUCK (after the non profit we established in 2009).  Below is the story of how we have evolved to where we are at today for Team CHUBS!  

A quick back story behind PUCK: After Sarah died (read her story here), we moved to Minnesota to set up Pioneering Unique Cures for Kids (PUCK) with help from  The Children's Cancer Research Funds(CCRF)  - (a successful, established nonprofit).  It was our way of helping and our way of keeping hope for a treatment for the disease Sarah had  (Epidermolysis Bullosa).   I set up PUCK and worked for 2.5 years trying to spread awareness and raise money for EB.  After 2.5 years I needed some distance from it to help in my grieving process.  This worked out because another set of awesome parents were in a position to take it on.  Once they needed to move on the decision was made to dissolve PUCK and put our efforts with an existing EB nonprofit that was now supporting the University of MN.  The cool thing is that before PUCK a lot of the EB charities didn't support the U of MN- they hesitated because it was something new and different.  PUCK, with the help of CCRF kept the funding coming so the other nonprofits could see the advancements made.   PUCK served it's purpose but like I said has now been dissolved.   We support and rely on another nonprofit EB Research Partnership  who is dedicated and has some fabulous resources.  PUCK not only raised awareness but also raised hundreds of thousands of dollars to help support the doctors at the U of MN and the amazing advancements they have made for the treatment of EB- all because of support and love from people like you.  

  

In the past our participation in the run/walk  has been for Team PUCK- all the kids who suffer from EB.  This year since PUCK no longer exists we are going to be at Time to Fly but under a new name.  I wanted to change the name to Team Chubs (Sarah's nickname because of her chubby cheeks).  The funds raised by Team Chubs will still go to EB research, (CCRF has committed to ear marking donations for the U of MN and EB research)

This year Time to Fly is going to be about Sarah.  I am in the  grief stage of acceptance (at least today I am : ) .  Sarah has died and I will run to honor her life, memory and I want my friends to run for her too.  In the past I haven't felt ready to be so bold about her death and life, but for some reason I feel like the timing works and it's something I want to do for her.  

Click on Time to Fly  to join Team Chubs or to donate.  Thank you for your continued support on this journey of ours.  

*Below are a few videos about PUCK, but I post them so you can see Sarah and get to know her a little.  

Throw it back....

Throw back Thursday!  I am going to try this, hopefully I am somewhat consistent (as in monthly).  I was thinking it would be fun to recap some of my childhood memories (I might just throw in some stuff from when my kids were itty bitty too).  It is very self serving but I thought it would be good to have these memories written down somewhere and why not entertain the masses (as in all 3 of you) while I am at it.

I'll start with this picture I just shared on Facebook this last week (because my kids told me I look like Will Ferrell from Elf...)

This is me in second grade.  My mom would take us to some lady from our church to get our perms, it was that or the taped hair and scissors hair cut.... clearly a perm was the way to go.  Plus Annie the movie was just released and I was going to look just like her, sans the red hair.  My sister Lisa (a red head) was also getting a perm at the same time....how lucky was she, red hair + perm = Annie look alike!  Although she wasn't in second grade, she was in 6th grade and WASN'T going for that look.   Results:  me sitting model style laying across our couch to show off my hair and my sister, madly combing out her hair over and over after washing it a bunch of times.  To this day I don't understand why she didn't want to look like Annie : )  I don't have any pictures of Lisa with her hair...my guess they were never taken or all destroyed.

I was so proud and nervous to go to school the next day- afraid the kids would make fun of my hair that I LOVED.  I remember having a response in my back pocket if anyone said anything to me about it-  like if Steve York said anything I'd remind him his mom had curly hair too ...BABAM, take that!  That was all I had....   I actually don't remember if anyone said anything, I guess if they did it didn't bother me enough to make it a memory... or it traumatized me so I have blocked it out...either way I LOVED my perm!

Spring! yay......booo

There are so many fabulous things to love about Spring.  I love the colors.  Here in Minnesota we have a long winter of whites and browns and not much else (excepet the Christmas lights that can't be taken down until spring because they are frozen to the house/trees etc).   It is great to see the grass so green and vibrant, the flowers that have been hibernating start to poke their way up through the ground into some lovely tulips and daffodils.  I love it!

Pictures from our neighbor- see how beautiful!

 I love that it is WARM (it's all relative, so we are happy to take anything above 30), especially on those days where you can feel the warmth from the sun and there isn't any wind!  Imagine that!  I love hearing all the birds sing and rushing around building their nests.  Last year we had a robin's nest in the tree right outside Janie's bedroom window, with blue robin eggs in them!  We also have a few bald eagles that come and make their summer home somewhere in our neighborhood, so it's really cool to see these giants flying around.

Bald Eagle- this is literally right behind our house, so cool!

I love to see all the kids emerging from their homes and playing outside until it is dark.  Willis is loving it, he goes crazy now that everything has thawed out and he can smell life!

Love all the chalk activity going on... oh and Willis is just like my kids, as soon as he sees the camera he looks away!

 Spring is magical, a renewing of life.........

AND a renewing of allergies that have lay dormant during the frozen tundra days.  Everyone in my family has seasonal allergies, but it effects my son the most.  The poor kid is on on 3 medicines, eye drops, saline spray yet his allergies are still just bad.  We have tried different remedies, local honey, daily showers, cleaning out the nose, even a "salt room" membership.

Our storage of Kleenex which should last about a month..

Aaron's allergy regime

I hate to even go there, but I think allergy shots could be in his future.  Still despite my itchy, watery eyes I love the feeling of SPRING and (almost) all it brings.  In the meantime I'll just walk around like this for the next few weeks until they calm down.

Happy Birthday Janie

How can it really be 12 years since we had this Janie.  I really can't believe it.  I remember when those toddler years seemed like they would never end (and now I seriously do miss them...).  
Janie has always been such a good girl.  She is sweet and sassy and keeps me on my toes.  She keeps me learning how to be a better person/ parent all the time.  I love her to death and I'm so grateful for the girl who made me a mom 12 years ago!